At many workshops for parents/ carers or during therapy sessions I talk to parents about the need to get Face to Face with their child.
We try several scenarios to help explain why Face to Face is best
1. Try to have a conversation where one adult sits behind the other. This is the classic position of when we are pushing our child along in their buggy or when we are sitting in the car. It is sometimes a necessity but it doesn't support communication skills.
2. Try to have a conversation where one adult stands and the other sits. It's quite intimidating and once again does not support communication. (solution - we need to get down to our child's level)
3. Sit facing each other but have loud noises in the background (music, banging, slamming doors). It's hard to concentrate. Young children have not learnt the skills to filter out background noise so switching off the phone, TV, computer or radio is best when we are playing or reading to our child.
If we sit Face to Face or even slightly below our child's eye level we help to create a relaxed atmosphere ready for connecting and engaging and communicating with each other.
If our child is upset then getting below the child's eye level is perfect for supporting them in calming down and regulating themselves. If we stand then in the child's eyes we are seen as aggressive and threatening and the situation is likely to escalate. Getting down to their level helps us both remain calm.
Face to Face... Connecting.... Engaging.... Communicating
By Sarah Winstanley