There are no rules for what we are going through. For most people you have been thrown into “home schooling” with little or no preparation. This wasn’t a choice and judging by the last few days the next few weeks and months are going to be one big rollercoaster ride with lots of lows and hopefully some highs….
Dear Future Self….
What advice do you have for me?
I’m not sure what advice I would give to myself yet…. but the next best thing is some thoughts from a very good friend and SaLT colleague who is a year down the line…. (I have her permission to share her story)
“So peeps I am hosting a sensory processing disorders page in a closed group today. I’ve been thinking about doing a home ed blog for a while but haven’t had the chance. Anyway I’ve now got more time so I thought I might post my ramblings on here if it helps. 💜 Adjusting to learning at home I wanted to write a little something to hopefully bring reassurance to parents of kids who are now wondering how best to work with their children at home. Just over a year ago my teenage son’s school closed down with 3 days’ notice. It was incredibly disruptive and sent us all into a flat spin. We were upset and panicked as to what we were going to do. We had moved him to a small school as he had been severely bullied in year 7 in another school and we wanted a safe space for him. I had no idea what I was going to do next except that I had him at home! My husband and I worked full time so things got quickly cancelled as we scrambled to visit new schools and some old ones. My son was worried about being bullied again and we struggled to find a gentle nurturing school that would suit him. We tried an online school and he loved it – suddenly we were looking at home school as a realistic option which was terrifying! A year on and we are getting there slowly but surely. Please know that what you are experiencing now is not home education as we know it. The lessons continue but all the fun stuff is cancelled and I’m praying this isn’t going to last that long as we miss our socialising. As an aside for all the people that said school is for socialising - my son is way more sociable now than he ever was and we miss our home ed friends and our groups. So I would like to share my top tips to doing this without going bonkers:
1) Breath and relax – try to lean into it and go with your child. Try to take their lead. If they don’t want to do the work then don’t force it. I found that when I stopped and took a deep breath I could cope much better. Co regulation is absolutely my thing at the moment as I know when I’m worried or anxious then we all are! I know it’s not easy but this would be my top tip. Also if routine and structure is not your thing then don’t do it!
2) Attitudes to work don’t go away – my son hated homework and we had tonnes of battles over it and we still do! So I go back to the online teachers or I ask him if he wants to talk to them and we negotiate what gets done and what is essential. Unsurprisingly it’s not that much! The teachers should be available so tell them if you are struggling in the same way you did before.
3) Communicate and say what you see – okay I can’t achieve this everyday and I’m a speech therapist but I try my best to communicate how I’m feeling and tell him what I’m seeing. I say ‘you look like you are enjoying this’ as well as ‘you look like you are struggling – what can we do?’ This opens up discussions and gets you working together and that’s been one of the most fantastic things about being at home. I can see when things are escalating and respond which I could never do when he was at school. We change places, positions, stop altogether and go outside etc.
4) Finally know you are not alone – ask for help, take care of yourself and try not to think what is going to happen in the future. There’s a great book called differently wired by Debbie Reber and she talks about parenting from a place of possibility rather than a place of fear and I’m working on that every day. Remember you absolutely know your child best so go with what you think will work and you might surprise yourself – it happens to me regularly now! I have got to a place working the way that works best for us as a family – not what extended family think, not what the school thinks but what works for us. Happily we are all different in our learning and we are in a very strange time so be kind to yourself and take your time. 💜💜💜” by Kym Mears
Podcast from Debbie Reber from Tilt Parenting.
This is a short (14 minute) podcast on “Thoughts on parenting atypical kids during a pandemic”. She has lots of great advice.
On a positive note our daily walk…… beats the daily commute
Take Care
Sarah Winstanley, SaLT
Communications Lincs Ltd. ……….because Speech Therapy Matters